Sick again!

I'm ill again... This is now the 2nd time in two weeks. Whhhyyy? Why is this happening all the time?
I just wanna be well so that I can get back on track and go to the gym. I am worried that I'm slowly gaining weight. I haven't allowed myself to see what I weigh because I just feel heavy and I know that I'll only be disappointed. Last time I weighed, I was 125.8. I really don't ever wanna be above that again (apart from during pregnancy).
I just took so measurements too:
Hips= 33.5
Waist= 25.5
Chest= 31.5
Thigh= 20.0
I think that's good but no where near what I want them to be.
I have nothing to relate to in regards to measurements. I'm eating roughly 1200 cals a day. Hoping that I don't gain but I really need to get better.
Now for some much needed sleep. Night night.

Sirenne x x

125.8... Going down.

I apologise for the lack of posting. I have lost my laptop charger and so I can only get on here on my phone. (not the best for posting or commenting) and I have seen loads that I wanna comment on too! Just thought that I would suck it up and post something using my phone. Its so frustrating because u can guarantee that I will have had to refresh and re-type this a couple of times before it's finalised.

Don't you just love it when someone comments on how slim you look and it makes you feel all good inside, but then your mum tells you that she thinks you've "lost a lot of weight recently" and you're like "damn"? I mean, it's good in one way but i'd rather she hadn't noticed, it's now made me feel very uneasy and self-concsieous. Im thinking that she's gonna be watching what I eat now. Yikes.
I'm currently 125.8 (that weight was taken after work today so maybe not correct) but I still wanna be smaller. I'm planning on going to some modelling auditions in November/December and I realistically wanna be at 120. I'm worried that I'm gonna plateau at 125. :-/

We have a party to go to tomorrow and the theme is black and pink. I will try and get a snap of what I'm wearing to show you gorgeous girls.

Lots of love, Sirenne x x

Food Fear!

Awe I had so many lovely comments on my last post- thank you all so much. It means so much to me that people took the time to comment. <3 every single one of you!

Today was quite a challenging day. I had nothing to eat up until lunchtime and then to my horror it was 'shit food day' at work so the girls had layed out like tonnes of chocolate, cakes and crisps for us all to eat. Luckily I have my lunch half an hour later than everyone else so I managed to eat my orange slowly and then very slowly nibbled on a small gingerbread man until they all disappeared and I could relax. I managed, somehow, to resist the temptation of all the amazing food around me. Then I disappeared to the confines of my car to look at thinspo in my vogue mag.

After work I had arranged to meet the girls for a pizza. Again a tricky situation but I managed to get away with 3 nachos from the sharer nacho starter and 3 slices of veggie pizza. Phew.

All in all quite a good day I think. I ended up at about 1000 calories but considering the fast food I think this is acceptable. I have plans once I get down to my goal weight to do some modelling. But I really need to be a lower weight. I don't think I could stand looking at myself at the moment.

Oooh what do you girls think of this coat from ASOS? I ordered it today but I'm not sure. I guess I'll send it back if I don't like it... ASOS parka coat


How are u girlies doing?

Sirenne x x

"Have you lost weight?"

Yesterday I had a pretty good day. Ended up having 332 calories yesterday which more or less made up for my awful Sunday. Not to dwell on it but it involved a lot of Ben & Jerry's ice cream. :-/

I exercised a lot yesterday too so I can only hope that it will be enough. I weighed after I got home from work (6pm) and I was 128lbs. I'm thinking that some of that weight will be water weight and some left over from lunch too. I will be weighing, hopefully, first thing in the morning so I will know for definite then.

I forgot to tell you all...

When I was rather drunk on Saturday night, we were saying goodbye to a few friends and my male friend picks me up as we hug goodbye. He then puts me down and comments rather seriously on how little I weigh and how i'm really skinny. I didn't believe him but it's nice that someone has noticed my recent 10lbs weight-loss. I was so happy inside! I wanted to jump up and down!

So thats it i think, thank you for all of your lovely comments! you guys are really keeping me going!

Please let me know of any blogs you recommend me reading, i am running short.

Love ya all, Sirenne x x

Saturday Night Outfit

This is the dress that I went out in last night. Sorry about the poor quality of photo. I literally snapped the pic before i had to leave. I love this dress, I bought it from topshop and i always get great compliments while wearing it.

Going out... Probably going to be consuming a lot of alcohol which I worked out was about 650-700 calories.

Group diets?

Any group diets or similar going on at the moment?

I need some motivation.

It doesn't hurt me, you wanna feel, how it feels?

Woke, entered the room where my scales are kept. Switched them to 'pounds' and stepped on.
As you all know, I was hoping for a lower number than yesterday. I felt light yesterday and I can always seem to tell if I'm gonna lose or not. Today I felt heavier and I knew deep down I wasn't going to be a lower number. I stepped on and looked... 127.4
Yess!
Now the heat is on... I'm going out tomorrow night and want to look my best. I'm hoping just a little more weight lost by tomorrow!!

Sirenne x x

Measurements (as promised)

(measurements in inches)

Waist: 26
Hips: 34
Bust: 32.5
Thigh: 19.5
Arms: 9.5

Thursday's Thinspiration

romance and diets - 128!

Photo of me last year. I was about 128lbs then too.

Woke up today and got on the scales 128.4 thank goodness. When I weighed yesterday I was at 129 and so because of the disappointment I had to fight a binge day off with my bare hands. I only just scraped by.
I had two glasses of wine last night with my dinner that my bf had cooked for me. It was lovely. After work, he went to the shop and bought the ingredients to make his tortellini, mushroom and white sauce meal. He then cooked for me and gave me wine. It was so romantic. His brother & his girlfriend came in and ordered pizza. I've never heard two people order so much food, they ordered enough for 5 people. Including cookie dough and ice cream, they offered me some but I declined. I felt strong for resisting. My head was like yes yes yes yes.

I have been really good recently and haven't binged in so long and i'm noticing the difference. My stomach is getting flatter and I feel better in myself; fitter. I never normally get past 2 weeks without a binge. Fingers crossed I can keep it going. I know that if i'm hungry it's just my brain trying to trick me into eating. I only need a minimal amount. I can do this. I can only hope for a lower number tomorrow.
Been to the gym today also. Managed to do some training though I found it very hard. I upped my game on the treadmill and I'm exhausted now. I will take measurements tonight and post them on here.

I was thinking about doing a group diet thing, does anyone know of one that is accepting new people?

Sirenne x x

Cooker & Baker

I'm staying over at my boyfriend's house for three days. Ima gonna put on some serious poundage methinks. :-( he always cooks such delicious things and I can't refuse because he is wanting to make me happy. He is a great cook. He cooks good food, I bake nice treats. (well not so much any more- too much temptation.)

I'm starting to seriously crave chocolate and things I wouldn't normally want to eat.

Sirenne x x

subtle tan... not streaky! :)

Okay, maybe the teenist bit streaky on my ankle/foot but i wasn't really going for that area. (I can wear socks because its cold here!) Im quite pleased with the result myself. :)

Not streaky legs! Bronzed a little... you can imagine how white they were to begin with.

Other points this morning include:

My stomach which is painful but not as bad as I thought. :) Maybe I will go for a short run later.

A terrible dream that I had. It made me feel sad and want cuddles.

Oh and may have hit 128.8 today!!! I'm quite excited by this! Thats 58.4 kg! :D

Putting that into perspective that means I've lost about 10 pounds in 4 months. :)
Happyhappyhappyhappyhappy.

Love Sirenne

x x