the long awaited update...

I've only just recovered, I would say I'm now running at 95%. Still not quite right but okay enough.
Just before I got ill I managed to get down to 122.8 which is officially a LW for me. However, after about a week of serious bingeing and no purging I fear that I may be back to where I started. I feel SO huge and elephantine.

My moods have been swinging up and down a lot recently too. One day i'll want to do everything and become everyone and start a new business and make money and have perfect control; and the next day I'll just want to be at home, in my bed and I can't be anything because I'm not good/pretty/clever/witty enough. Please tell me i'm not the only one? It doesn't help, i suppose, that i've been all over the place with taking my pill (contraceptive). I'm just so forgetful recently. I'm hoping that it won't matter too much. :-S

I dare not weigh myself... I will have to bite the bullet. I have to know how bad it is so that I can fix the situation.

Love as always,

Sirenne x x